We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
