my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
