tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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