What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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