She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
