your room smells of hookers.
And success
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
