East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
