i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm passing your future prison.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
this will be a night to untag.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Randomize
