life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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