When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Randomize
