well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We left the knife in your bed.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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