Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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