Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
