I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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