I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
