I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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