Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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