...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
BRING THE BAGELS
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
