Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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