No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
