I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
