i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
