When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
