a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Randomize
