I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
