I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
