Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
