That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he puts the penis in happiness.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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