I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
