I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
