check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
