So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
