do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
