Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
