I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
