Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So many bounce houses so little time
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
