guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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