dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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