I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
