i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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