i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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