i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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