She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
