Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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