You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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