He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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