This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
