Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
