I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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