was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
