So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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