And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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