dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
